(Part one of a 51-part series)
Little is known about the mysterious blogger who calls itself Grumpus.
I have long been suspicious that it is not of our planet, even. Investigation and careful examination of the evidence leads one to the conclusion that Grumpus is from the planet Saturn, and I have stated this on several occasions.
Like the Coneheads of Saturday NIght Live fame, who always quickly stated that they were from France, whenever pressed, Grumpus always substitutes "British Columbia" for France. More often than not, people will accept that statement as truth. Grumpus depends on this acceptance for it's very survival.
Posing as a harmless snail, the entity known as Grumpus is, in real life, quite large indeed. I have seen it's shadow myself, and I can state with certainty that Grumpus is no snail.
Investigation and careful examination of small facts that the often careless creature leaves behind, gives even more insight into the extraterrestrial's habits. First, it is known to feed on a bland, green diet of unknown origin, looking much like the disgusting British dish called "Mushy Peas." Of course it is not Mushy Peas at all, but a life-sustaining protein found only in the caves under the surface of Saturn.
When not in its natural nocturnal habitat, Grumpus takes the form of a human female. I have carefully followed Grumpus for several weeks now, and have noticed its ability to change form at will, but always the form will be a human female of perhaps 25 to 35 years of age. I have even been successful in photographing the results of the transmorgrification of the Saturn creature (known more correctly as a "Santurian") several times, and I will be showing some of these actual photographs throughout this series. You should be aware that the Grumpus has the ability to take more than one female form at will, and does not have the need to look the same at any given time. Below is Grumpus #24. Note, as always, that the Saturian Command Module (SCM) is never far away. I have come to believe that this is somehow essential to Grumpus' very survival, as well as being needed, of course, to direct the bodily movements and thought processes of the human forms it inhabits.
To be continued...