Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Cherry pie please, and step on it

3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West and sidles up to the bar. "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

How do you save a drowning man? Take yer foot off his head.

A chicken sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barkeep says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

So the couple stopped after three because they heard that every fourth child born is Chinese.

Kirk materializes standing on top of the VIP front table at the Federation Ambassadors' wives testimonial dinner and immediately gets on the communicator. "Very funny, Scottie. Now beam up my clothes."

Run like hell if a blonde throws a pin at you because it means she still has the grenade in her mouth.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's not too late, not while we're living...

Oh can't you see the morning after?
It's waiting right outside the storm
Why don't we cross the bridge together
And find a place that's safe and warm.

(from "The Poseidon Adventure")