Thursday, March 6, 2014

Panic Attack

Whenever I have a panic attack I put a brown paper bag over my mouth and drink all the vodka from the bottle inside.

I may have the mouth of a drunken sailor, but I have a heart of fucking gold.

Pleasing people is much harder than simply annoying the crap out of them.

"I'll stick my foot so far up your ass the sweat on my knee will quench your thirst," he said softly.

My favorite part of rap music is the part where I change the station.