Monday, June 27, 2011

Friday, June 24, 2011

Awful Guitar (and grammar) Mistakes

I saw this ad for classical guitar lessons. I didn't click.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Quick and the Dead

Have you ever wondered what the fastest and slowest street-legal cars ever produced were? Wonder no more.

The absolute doggiest dog ever foisted on college students was the 1968 Fiat 850 Idromatic. See photo above. It even LOOKS sad, doesn't it? It seems to be saying, "Please shoot me. Please don't humiliate me anymore by drag-racing me with VW Beetles." No?

Here are the poor Idromatic's pathetic stats:

1. Quarter Mile in 23.0 seconds. 0-60 MPH (0-97 KPH) = 25.4 seconds

Following is the entire "top" 10 list for the slowest cars of all time:

  1. 68 Fiat 850 Idromatic 0-60 mph 25.4 Quarter mile 23.0
  2. 73 VW Super Beetle Convertible 0-60 mph 23.7 Quarter mile 22.2
  3. 74 Datsun B210 Coupe 0-60 mph 22.5 Quarter mile 24.5
  4. 79 Volkswagen Rabbit (Diesel) 0-60 mph 21.2 Quarter mile 21.9
  5. 81 Cadillac Seville (Diesel) 0-60 mph 20.9
  6. 80 Audi 5000S Diesel 0-60 mph 20.3 Quarter mile 21.6
  7. 81 Audi 5000S Diesel 0-60 mph 20.4
  8. 68 Fiat 850 Spider 0-60 mph 19.9 Quarter mile 21.4
  9. 64 Austin-Healey 3000 MK II 0-60 mph 19.8
  10. 72 Fiat Wagon 0-60 mph 19.0 Quarter mile 21.2

And the top 10 fastest cars which are (supposedly) legal to drive on the streets. Somewhere.

  1. 02 Lingenfelter Chevrolet Corvette 0-60 mph 1.97 Quarter mile 9.1
  2. 02 Viper Hennessey Venom 1000TT 0-60 mph 2.2 Quarter mile 9.4
  3. 06 Buggati Veyron EB16.4 0-60 mph 2.7 Quarter mile 10.7
  4. 08 Ariel Atom 500 0-60 mph 2.8
  5. 12 Nissan GT-R 0-60 mph 2.9 Quarter mile 11.1
  6. 06 Mosler MT900 S 0-60 mph 3.0 Quarter mile 10.9
  7. 06 Koenigsegg CCR 0-60 mph 3.1 Quarter mile 10.7
  8. 07 Noble M400 0-60 mph 3.2 Quarter mile 11.6
  9. 02 Ferrari Enzo 0-60 mph 3.3 Quarter mile 11.2
  10. 97 McLaren F1 0-60 mph 3.3 Quarter mile 11.5


Friday, June 17, 2011


Max is hardly holy enough to really be in a position to criticize, but have there not been too many wars fought over religions which claim to be based on love and peace and gentleness? I wonder. And I wonder, too, how many non-believers or believers in something different have had their bodies burned alive as a gesture of compassion so that their souls might be spared eternal flames?

"Imagine no religion"? No, that's not my point. Believing in something is good. Not making fun of people who believe in something is (perhaps) even better.

And, beyond not making fun of people who believe differently than you, not killing them is maybe best of all. At least it would be a start.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Come to the Edge

"Come to the edge," I said.

"No, we're afraid."

"Come to the edge."

"No... We're afraid. We'll fall."

"Come to the edge," I said again.

And they came.

And I pushed them.

And they flew.

— Christopher Logue

Saturday, June 11, 2011

So much to live for

A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow.
I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Some think this is too good to be true!

Eat all you want! Feast on your favorite foods! Lose huge amounts of weight every minute!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

And at the other end of the street on which I live...

This one has fewer bullet holes in it than others I've seen.

Friday, June 3, 2011

A gift for you

I live in western New Mexico. REALLY western New Mexico. I know you have probably wished a thousand times you knew what it looked like to stand on the New Mexico border facing west. You KNOW you've wanted to know that, right? Well, as it happens, recently the air conditioning in my car was much too cold, so I decided to get out in the 500 degree heat and take this picture for you. You owe me one.