The following post was blatantly stolen from little b's blog while she slept last night. She seldom comes by the pub, if ever, so I am pretty safe, I think. Knowing little b, she undoubtedly stole it from someone else anyway. I think it's funny.
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you’re choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - Q-20 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the Q-20. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember - everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.
Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
[Note: If #7 isn't funny, you are obviously an American. Substitute WD-40 for Q-20 and it will become funny to you.]
that daily thought looks a lot like a "random thought" that I posted on my blog way back when (thanks again to Tara N)..... are you stealing from both of us now???ReplyDelete
I feel honored..... and kinda special (in a short bus sort of way....)
When did you post it? Back in the 80s? Petra, I just stole the whole damn thing. It came with the daily thought already included. Why in the world would I steal from you?--my goal is to increase traffic, not run it off.ReplyDelete
But you SHOULD feel honored.
You know what Petra? I'll bet if I wound you up to full speed, you wouldn't be a half-bad challenge. Perhaps I will try to find out in a few days. We shall see. And thanks a bunch for not giving me the picture I asked for.
wow, you made me laugh :)ReplyDelete
I got that Q-20 thing just by reading the sentence, I assumed it was their "WD-40". I'm in need of a gold star here, I put my thinking cap on today.ReplyDelete
BTW. I think the funniest one that has me still laughing even after seeing this sort of list everywhere online is number one. :)
Yes Relax.. You know how much I enjoy a nibble or two on my posterior ... BTW.. I like that you like me enough to steal from me.. :PReplyDelete
That was definetly worth stealing. Thanks for sharingReplyDelete
Yes, number 7 had us foxed, but we figured it out we're smart in our part of the UK Yuk YukReplyDelete