Ok, obviously Caroline is still passed out from her drinking contest. Anyone else care to make a decision? (based on the post below this one.)

I played Lady Diana Spencer in a school pageant to mark the wedding of Charles & Di. [Too general - could be anyone who was in school since 1981. And I can't use your current personalities as clues, because the pageant may have been involuntary - somebody made you do it.]
This female was so shy as a child, she would burst into tears every time a teacher asked her to answer a question in front of the class. [Requires an outright guess, because you might not be shy at all now. Unfair.]
My nickname in highschool was "take a toke Toker". [Requires that I know your maiden name. Unreasonable.]
I took Scottish highland dancing for 3 lessons, until it became clear you couldn't get the awesome little strappy dancing shoes right away, so I quit that shit. I was 6. [Good clue. Gotta be Grumpus. Who else talks and writes like that? Give me one.]

As a child I always thought it would be wonderful to have dimples in my cheeks. [Wouldn't necessarily have to be Debbie. Could be Canucklehead. Too common.]
I spent the first 18 years of my life living in the same small town. [C'mon. We ALL made our escape after high school. The whole WORLD does.]
Tequila makes me run around my yard naked. [Ok. Good clue. The Georgia Zombie lady. Give me two.]
I would trade the rest of my life to be a sparrow for. just. one. DAY!!!!! ["Just. One. Day." Gotta be Grumpus again. Give me three. Or take one of these out.]
I have a freckle on one big toe. [Doesn't necessarily HAVE to be a redhead. But since most of you are, this is unfair. A freckle on your toe doesn't come across during everyday blogging. Unfair.]
I bite my toenails and occasionally chew them. [See? Now you have me deciding who might be flexible enough to do this. This is not a blogging clue.]
I cry every time I watch Last of the Mohicans. [Has to be an American because I don't think Grumpus would EVER cry. Over. That. Shit. and all the Brits are going, "Last of the Whaaat?" So that leaves me with Americans who are likely to cry in the movies. And also someone who has watched that stupid movie more than once. (I have met Russell Means, btw. The prick lives on the rez near me. Don't cry for him.) Petra watches movies all the time. And her harsh exterior is only a device to hide her mushy interior. She could cry at a movie. Bet she does, too. I say Petra. Acceptable clue. Gimme four.]
I can hold my breath under water for 2 minutes. I practice in the bathtub and in the summer, at the beach. You have to do this where there are no lifeguards though. They don't like it! [Although one is tempted to say Claire (and be also tempted to hold her head under until she could say "five minutes"), it is not conclusive enough to be a blogging clue. But Brits are pretty big on baths because their showers don't work worth a damn. I will think about this one. It may be fair.]
I cannot ride a bicycle. [Not likely to be an American or Canadian. But still too general. Unfair.]
Pink was my favorite color as a child. Everything had to be pink. I must have overdone things because I hate it now. [Obviously Canucklehead again.]
Tulips are my favorite flower. [And again.]

More help, please

I haven't given up. I have been trying to reason it out. But the thing is - and you all know this - you are cheating. Because some of your "clues" aren't clues at all, with regard to your personality traits, which is all I have to go on.

Some are real clues (though not especially helpful) but some are not. For example, liking Tulips or the color pink is hardly helpful because those things don't come across in your online persona. They require a flat-out guess, and that isn't supposed to happen in a real test. *he pouts*

Wanting dimples is SORT of a clue, but not really specific enough. PLUS you shouldn't be allowed multiple clues: it should be a straight-out mix and match where I can draw lines from the name to the clue.

Take a vote. If you REALLY want to see what I have picked up on you, just from your talk online, then give me clues that I should have picked up on from your attitude and manner of speaking and things you have said in past comments.

Anything else is unfair.

Specifically, I ask that you reduce the clues to only nine, either by submitting a more fair clue about yourself, or at least by discarding 6 clues from the existing list which are obviously too general to guess from.

[Here is an exmple of a clue I think would be fair: "This Georgia redhead always read zombie comic books as a child."]

Ok. Perhaps that is a LITTLE too much in my favor, but at least give me a break?

What do you say?