Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Pub jokes sort of


President Clinton gets off his White House helicopter with a pig under one arm. The marine salutes and says, "Nice pig, sir." Clinton says, "Got it for Chelsea." Marine goes, "Nice trade, sir."
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Guy walks into the Good Mixer in Camden Town with a pig under one arm and ordered a pint. Slightly stunned barman serves the pint and asks, "Where did you get him?"

Won him in a raffle, says the pig.
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Little boy is lost in the supermarket, can't find his daddy. "What's your daddy like?" the clerk asks."

"Beer and women with big boobs," says the lad.
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I'm just a social drinker. Every time someone says they'll have a drink, I say, "Social I!"
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Man walks into a pub with an alligator under his arm.

"Do you serve lawyers here?"

The barman says they do.

"Then gimme a pint and a lawyer for my alligator."

15 comments:

  1. Yes, about the level of pub jokes. :) :)

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  2. Wow... you actually succeeded in making me laugh... and, I am still laughing.

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  3. Two men who were stopped by the police for being drunk and disorderly and it turned out that the first had been drinking battery acid and the second had been swallowing fireworks. One was charged and the other was let off

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  4. An elephant walked of a cliff...
    ... boom.

    Two elephants fell off a cliff...
    ... boom boom.

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  5. Groan!!! Hello everyone *waves*

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  6. So while we are on the conversation of bad pub jokes, Friday night I was at a bar (Queen of Hearts) where my buddies band were playing. An aged biker dude came up to my friend and I while we stood at the bar, and told us the longest joke of all time. It was pretty lame, and I am not going to write it here. I am fairly sure his goal was to keep my friend in his company for as long as possible. As soon as his joke was done, we politely smiled, chucked then, made our excuses and reunited with our friends.

    Note to Max, bad jokes as chat up lines... don't work.

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  7. @A. - I thought they were pretty hi class, myself. Borderline intellectual. :) I'm really charged about this.

    @Caroline - 3 elephants feel off a cliff...

    Why were you standing at the bar? This isn't England. Here we throw things at waitresses. :) Biker dude, eh? In a bar called the Queen? I don't think I want to hear the rest of this story. :)

    @Alison - hello Alison. Waving back. :) But you have to tell a story. Come back. (Can't be about elephants though)

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  8. @Caroline - btw, happy 5th anniversary.

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  9. Hmmm... 5th Anniversary... now I am wondering what that is for... 5 years here in the USA perhaps?

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  10. Well, yes. That's it. Congratulations. What else could it be? Definitely not 5 years of sobriety. :)

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  11. :)

    Don't get all big-headed. It's on your blog.

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  12. oh well... I forgot I had a blog you see.

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  13. We check it once in a while. We haven't given up on you.

    But I remembered.

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