President Clinton gets off his White House helicopter with a pig under one arm. The marine salutes and says, "Nice pig, sir." Clinton says, "Got it for Chelsea." Marine goes, "Nice trade, sir."
Guy walks into the Good Mixer in Camden Town with a pig under one arm and ordered a pint. Slightly stunned barman serves the pint and asks, "Where did you get him?"
Won him in a raffle, says the pig.
Little boy is lost in the supermarket, can't find his daddy. "What's your daddy like?" the clerk asks."
"Beer and women with big boobs," says the lad.
I'm just a social drinker. Every time someone says they'll have a drink, I say, "Social I!"
Man walks into a pub with an alligator under his arm.
"Do you serve lawyers here?"
The barman says they do.
"Then gimme a pint and a lawyer for my alligator."