Dear Apple:

Dear Apple Computer:

From Mr. InsanelyMacProtege

Hi, I installed succesfully tubgirl 10.4.8 with 6th may 10.4.9 pppf patched on my amd 3500+ venice core with nvidia 6200TC.
System runs fine and fast.
however, on logging in after booting I get htese two error messages:
http://users.telenet.be/mylinux/mac.png
about the realtek 8139: It didn't work in the beginning so I found on this forum a solution with a new driver, installed it:
rm -R /System/Library/Extensions/IONetworkingFamily.kext/Contents/Plugins/AppleRTL8139Ethernet.kext
rm -R /System/Library/Extensions/IONetworkingFamily.kext/Contents/Plugins/RealtekR1000.kext
cp -R /PCGenRTL8139Ethernet.kext /System/Library/Extensions/IONetworkingFamily.kext/Contents/Plugins/
chown -R root:wheel /System/Library/Extensions/IONetworkingFamily.kext/Contents/Plugins/PCGenRTL8139Ethernet.kext
chmod -R 755 /System/Library/Extensions/IONetworkingFamily.kext/Contents/Plugins/PCGenRTL8139Ethernet.kext
touch /System/Library/Extensions

now my realtek works fine, but why I get that eroor message?
About the disk insertion errror, I don't ahve an idea, but I choose for "ignore" and I have no problem at all.

So after all it's only cosmetic, but if there is a solution I would like to know....

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Dear InsanelyMacProtege:

Whoa! Hold it right there Mr. Insane. Perhaps you have us confused with Microsoft. Macs are for music and painting lovely pictures and for doing important sensitive stuff. Macs are love and fulfillment. K?

It isn’t that your Mac can’t do all that stuff, it’s just that when it sees all that crud you have entered, it will quickly see you for what you are and lose interest in you. Most likely, rather than having a bug, your Mac has chosen to go off and do something more interesting.

Usually when this happens you will get a dialog box to inform you of what is happening. For example, the first dialog is likely to be the “What’s your problem, dude?” box which gives you an opportunity to come to your senses and begin scanning wildlife photos or something. If this box is not heeded (and you really should heed it, dude) it is extremely likely the “Please Wait” dialog box will appear. Please don’t interpret this to mean you should actually wait. You can wait until your ass falls off onto the floor but your Mac is not going to come back to you. This is because your Mac is convinced you are really a PC user.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you are just not our kind. Go buy a PC. They are very inexpensive, and they will give you a much wider variety of useless dialog boxes. Of course, the best part is you will then be writing to their support instead of us.

Go in peace, dear cyberchild.

Apple Computer

Education: What if your brain is already full?

“How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course, and I forgot how to drive?” -Homer Simpson

A conversation with God

Caution to new readers: Max has had a relapse. If you didn't know the old Max from the beginning before he stopped being vulgar on his blogs, you might not want to read this post. Thank you.
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Max was down on his knees. Never mind why. He was worshiping something lying on the bed. But since he was down on his knees anyway, Max decided to pray.

Max: “Dear God...”

God: “Yes?”

Max: “God?”

God: “Yes?”

Max: “God? Is that really you?”

God: “Yes my son. What can I do for you?”

Max: “Mmmmm... God, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you really smell good.”

God: “That’s because I’m a woman.”

Max: “Ah. That explains it. God?”

God: “Yes my son?”

Max: “Did you really create the whole world?”

God: “I created pussy. That’s all you need to worry about.”

Max: “Thank you God.”

“And God? Can I ask another question? Are you the God of hellfire?”

God: “No. Hellfire is one of man’s warped concepts. I am love. Hence the pussy.”

Max: “Ah.”

“So you created pussy and then on the seventh day you rested?”

God: “No. I create other things all the time. Love things.”

Max: “Like what?”

God: “Well, most recently I created the four-hour erection.”

Max: “No shit?”

God: “No shit.”

::15 seconds of silence::

Max: “God?”

God: “Yes Max?”

Max: “Could you please bestow one of those major woodies upon me? I promise to be good.”

God: “Perhaps. But if it lasts longer than four hours, you have to go to a doctor.”

Max: “Couldn’t you just send more women? I would prefer that, God.”

God: “Perhaps. That might work. But you must promise to be good.”

Max: “With four-hour wood, how could I be bad?”

God: “Good point.”

And so it came to pass that with God’s help, Max rose up to new heights, and proceeded to go about doing good, never failing to constantly honor God’s great first creation. And God was true to Her word and continued to provide an ever-increasing supply of pussy for Max to honor.

And it came to pass that Max was truly in heaven.
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Thanks to Chica for the "seed" of this idea in one of her recent posts. And to her regular reader Queenie. Sort of. And to Angelika, just because.

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Epilogue:

And it happened that while Max was in a deep and peaceful sleep later that same night, God again came to Max in a vision and spake to him thusly:

God: I have decided to send you forth to explain my true nature to my people.

Max: I am only a blogger, God.

God: Exactly. They will believe anything you say.

Max: Well, if we are going to be talking every day, could you at least tell me your name? Yah-way, right?

God: You can call me Elvira.

To be continued...

Pub walks into a Canucklehead and asks for a drunk...

Man walks into a room and asks for a pub.

Canucklehead was drunk again.

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I think we are going to start concocting house drinks named after our regular customers.

Anybody want to come up with the ingredients for a Canucklehead cocktail?

"Beer" is already taken.

I'm serious. What would the ingredients of a Canucklehead be? 

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They had a raffle at a Polish wedding  last Saturday evening at the reception. Second prize was to spend the evening with the bride. First prize was a ham. Ta DUM da. Take my wife. Please.

In Hiding?

After Max's appalling jokes, it would seem he is in hiding..

Come back Max, we forgive you... (or do we just want to make fun of you somemore... ?)

Still not funny

Okay then. How about this?

Man walks into a grocery store and asks for a room....

Or do you have inns at grocery stores too?

A Mae West is not only a flotation device

Man walks into a pub...

A man walks into a pub and asks for a room.

10 seconds later he is back out on the street.

Turns out if you are looking for a room in England, you should go to a hotel.