Caution to new readers: Max has had a relapse. If you didn't know the old Max from the beginning before he stopped being vulgar on his blogs, you might not want to read this post. Thank you.
Max was down on his knees. Never mind why. He was worshiping something lying on the bed. But since he was down on his knees anyway, Max decided to pray.
Max: “Dear God...”
Max: “God? Is that really you?”
God: “Yes my son. What can I do for you?”
Max: “Mmmmm... God, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you really smell good.”
God: “That’s because I’m a woman.”
Max: “Ah. That explains it. God?”
God: “Yes my son?”
Max: “Did you really create the whole world?”
God: “I created pussy. That’s all you need to worry about.”
Max: “Thank you God.”
“And God? Can I ask another question? Are you the God of hellfire?”
God: “No. Hellfire is one of man’s warped concepts. I am love. Hence the pussy.”
“So you created pussy and then on the seventh day you rested?”
God: “No. I create other things all the time. Love things.”
Max: “Like what?”
God: “Well, most recently I created the four-hour erection.”
Max: “No shit?”
God: “No shit.”
::15 seconds of silence::
God: “Yes Max?”
Max: “Could you please bestow one of those major woodies upon me? I promise to be good.”
God: “Perhaps. But if it lasts longer than four hours, you have to go to a doctor.”
Max: “Couldn’t you just send more women? I would prefer that, God.”
God: “Perhaps. That might work. But you must promise to be good.”
Max: “With four-hour wood, how could I be bad?”
God: “Good point.”
And so it came to pass that with God’s help, Max rose up to new heights, and proceeded to go about doing good, never failing to constantly honor God’s great first creation. And God was true to Her word and continued to provide an ever-increasing supply of pussy for Max to honor.
And it came to pass that Max was truly in heaven.
Thanks to Chica for the "seed" of this idea in one of her recent posts. And to her regular reader Queenie. Sort of. And to Angelika, just because.
And it happened that while Max was in a deep and peaceful sleep later that same night, God again came to Max in a vision and spake to him thusly:
God: I have decided to send you forth to explain my true nature to my people.
Max: I am only a blogger, God.
God: Exactly. They will believe anything you say.
Max: Well, if we are going to be talking every day, could you at least tell me your name? Yah-way, right?
God: You can call me Elvira.
To be continued...